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                                                Play the Man

Ed Basquill

Many successful companies now manage themselves as “learning organizations,” in order to keep up with the rapid pace of change in technology. People are considered primary business assets. Training is offered on everything from building spreadsheets and home budgeting to handling conflict and managing relationships. To my knowledge, no company has ever introduced a professional development class on “authentic manhood.”  This is not to say that it is not needed, or that companies are unwilling to go outside the bounds of business and delve into social issues.  Many companies have mandatory “diversity training,” where issues like affirmative action, gay rights, and religious intolerance are discussed.  It is a comic irony that diversity training offers company indoctrination on social issues, which is itself not diverse.  This powerfully illustrates my point that people fear talking about manhood.

A company is willing to take a stand on a sensitive moral issue like affirmative action, yet is silent on “what is a man” in a society where men do all sorts of horrible and unproductive things to support their twisted understanding of manhood. Men fight, get drunk, steal, date rape, impregnate, murder and become deadbeat Dad’s all in the name of “being a man,” yet we refuse to have public dialog on what a man should be for fear of offending a feminist.  I won’t even mention the muslim men who blow themselves and others up in the hopes of being serviced by seventy virgins, because I wouldn’t want to appear to be insufficiently indoctrinated by my diversity training.

It is no surprise that when the high level leaders who have anonymous organizations to hide behind are cowards in talking about manhood, the mainstream of our culture simply checks out and heads for the hills.  It is socially acceptable to discuss tampons, breast enlargement, tummy tucks, feelings of what certain nuances of facial expression or voice intonation might indicate, what certain body language and dress “really mean,” and other largely intimate feminine subjects.  I say largely intimate feminine subjects, as not many men can be found secretly practicing their combined giggle-hair toss and playful hair twirl in front of a mirror for hours. It is usually un-acceptable to talk about male family servant leadership, the problem of masturbation, narcissism, restraining sexual desires, and the manipulative nature of that practiced hair toss move.  

Our culture is highly feminized, with no better indicator than in our economy.  Look at the lay out of major department stores, such as Target.  The women’s clothes and products section comprises most of the floor space; the men’s section is infinitesimal.  In the eighties the world was aghast at the excessively large number of shoes maintained by one Imelda Marcus, the wife of a Philippine dictator especially exploitive of his people. Now we live in an Imelda culture where without women buying shoes, clothes and make up, our economic bubble just might collapse. 

Our male role models reflect our moral confusion.  Consider George W Bush and William Jefferson Clinton, two men who in many ways are at opposite ends of the political spectrum.  Both are products of top notch Ivy League schools, are extremely intelligent, possess leadership and reasoning skills that dwarf most, and generally led such distinguished lives as to rise to the occasion for leadership of the free world. Both studied hard and grew up to be President. Yet both are held in derision by large polarized segments of our society based on mistakes or shortcomings.  Who are our culture’s “alpha males?” What males do the kids in school want to grow up to be like? Is it our leaders? Is it those who risk leadership and make pubic mistakes trying to lead, like Clinton and Bush? Of course it isn’t. We all want to be “like Mike,” like Michael Jordan.  Despite all-pro basketball star Charles Barkley’s childish assertion that “I am not a role model,” our sports heroes are our role models. We make sport of our leaders and make leaders of our sportsman.

It is not perverted and un-natural to look to sportsmen as role models. Sports were designed and invented with this idea in mind. The first sports originated as training events for hunting and for war.  It was meant to hone leadership and heroism. A sport is a simplified reflection of life with which we can all identify. It used to be said that sports builds character.

It is perverted and un-natural to see what sportsmen have become.  It would fill volumes just running down recent headlines.  Culpepper had to be escorted off of the Miami Dolphins practice field by security, reason unknown. There was a search warrant executed at one of Michael Vick’s houses for involvement in some dog fighting and racketeering related crimes. Floyd Landis tested positive for steroids twice, yet still claims to be innocent.  These are just the recent headlines. This leaves out the baseball steroids investigation, the pro-basketball player who choked his coach, Kobe Bryant’s rape case, Terrell Owens, and the all-pro linebacker who just got arrested. It doesn’t even explore the lack of any credible steroid investigation in the NFL, where an average lineman weighs 350 lbs, 100 lbs more than twenty years ago.   The news headlines seem to refute the popular wisdom that sports builds character. Instead of building character by dealing with a “bad call” like a good sport, we now have instant replay in professional football.  With instant replay, we have found a way to litigate without offering any real improvement to anyone but the facilitators of the litigation, just like in life.

Sports are merely a reflection of life.  I would suggest that if we don’t like the reflection, it is not the mirror that needs changing; that will happen all by itself when we change males into something manly.  Sportsman used to revel in the privilege of being a role model, and took it very seriously. They didn’t merely play the athlete; they played the man.  Statistically, half of the players in the NFL went to college for over four years and never earned (or will earn) their degree.  They not only didn’t play the man, they didn’t play the student.  Like professional horses and greyhound dogs that race, they merely played the animal.

My Uncle Paul played the man.  To me he was just “Unc,” but to the world he was Pitching Paul Arizin, two time NBA high scorer and most valuable player, honored as one of the fifty greatest basketball players of all time. If you never heard of him, perhaps it’s because he was before your time, or perhaps it’s because that is how he liked it.  I learned some things I didn’t know about him when his oldest son gave his eulogy this past year.  I learned that his NBA career ended when the Philadelphia Warriors moved to California to become the Golden State Warriors.  He quit the team and took a 70 % pay cut to play in the less prestigious East Coast Basketball league where he continued to be high scorer. 

He quit because he didn’t want to move his family. His family was more important than money or accolades.  He went to church every day. When we had one of our family emergencies and my brothers and I needed to be farmed out, we went to his house. When my Dad was dying of cancer, he was there.  His youngest son played basketball for my college. Unc was in the stands, looking so animated and intense that I wished I had gotten to see him play in his prime.  It was such a contrast. He was a quiet man who abhorred fame and stardom. 

Another story related in the eulogy was the time the Basketball Hall of Fame remodeled and asked him if he wanted the old display of himself for posterity. They asked him for a small sum of money for shipping and Unc told them to keep the display…he didn’t care about accolades. He cared about lifting others up. He was in the famous game where Wilt Chamberlain scored the still standing record 100 points---passing him the ball.  Paul Arizin raised a large family and left behind a legacy of multiplication of his values through numerous wonderful children and grandchildren.  Guys like Kobe Bryant play some decent basketball. Unc played the man.

Ed Basquill

Basquill@iglou.com

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