Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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>  A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair

>> well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling

>> slightly of  a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into

>> an  upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady,

>> (mid  eighties).

>> 

>> The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink,

>> takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here

>> often?"

>> 

>> 

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> 

>> An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of

>> years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him

>> fitted >> for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

>> 

>> The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the

>> doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really

>> pleased that you can hear again."

>> 

>> The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit

>> around  and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

>> 

>> 

>> 

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> 

>> 

>> An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after

>> eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two

>> gentlemen  were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new

>> restaurant and  it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.

>> 

>> The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

>> 

>> The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the

>> name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one

>> that's

>> 

>> red and has thorns."

>> 

>> "Do you mean a rose?"

>> 

>> "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the

>> kitchen  and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last

>> night?

>> 

>> 

>> _________________________________________________

>> 

>> 

>> A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear

>> you're getting married?"

>> 

>> "Yep!"

>> 

>> "Do I know her?"

>> 

>> "Nope!"

>> 

>> "This woman, is she good looking?"

>> 

>> "Not really."

>> 

>> "Is she a good cook?"

>> 

>> "Naw, she can't cook too well."

>> 

>> "Does she have lots of money?"

>> 

>> "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."

>> 

>> "Well, then, is she good in bed?"

>> 

>> "I don't know."

>> 

>> "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"

>> 

>> "Because she can still drive!"

>> 

>> __________________________________

>> 

>> Three old guys are out walking.

>> First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

>> Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"

>> Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

>> 

>> ____________________________________________

>> 

>> A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid.

>> It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's

>> perfect."

>>>> 

>> "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

>> 

>> "Twelve thirty."

>> 

>> ___________________________________

>> 

>> 

>> A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and

>> pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his

>> breath, he  ordered a banana split.

>> 

>> The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

>> 

>> "No," he replied, "Arthritis."

>> 

>> 

>> 

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