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SWEARING AT
WORK
Dear
Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no
longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being
able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.
1) TRY
SAYING:
I think you could use more
training.
INSTEAD
OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're
doing.
2) TRY
SAYING:
She's an aggressive
go-getter.
INSTEAD
OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY
SAYING:
Perhaps I can work
late.
INSTEAD
OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do
this?
4) TRY
SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't
feasible.
INSTEAD
OF:
No f______
way.
5) TRY
SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD
OF:
You've got to be sh__ing
me!
6) TRY
SAYING:
Perhaps you should check
with...
INSTEAD
OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY
SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the
project.
INSTEAD
OF:
It's not my f______
problem.
8) TRY
SAYING:
That's
interesting.
INSTEAD
OF:
What the
f___?
9) TRY
SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be
implemented.
INSTEAD
OF:
This sh__ won't
work.
10) TRY
SAYING:
I'll try to schedule
that.
INSTEAD
OF:
Why the h_! __ didn't you tell me
sooner?
11) TRY
SAYING:
He's not familiar with the
issues.
INSTEAD
OF:
He's got his head up his
a__.
12) TRY
SAYING:
Excuse me,
sir?
INSTEAD
OF:
Eat sh__ and
die.
13) TRY
SAYING:
So you weren't happy with
it?
INSTEAD
OF:
Kiss my
a__.
14) TRY
SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the
moment.
INSTEAD
OF:
F___ it, I'm on
salary.
15) TRY
SAYING:
I don't think you
understand.
INSTEAD
OF:
Shove it up your
a__.
16) TRY
SAYING:
I love a
challenge.
INSTEAD
OF:
This job
sucks.
17) TRY
SAYING:
You want me to take care of
that?
INSTEAD
OF:
Who the h___ died and made you
boss?
Thank You,
Human Resources
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