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It is with great regret

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up.  Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed.  It was addressed,
"Dad."  With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and  read the
letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.  I had to elope
with my new girlfriend  because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and
Mom.  I've been finding real passion with Joan  and she is so nice-even
with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.

But it's  not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will
be very happy.  Even  though you won't care for her as she is so much
older than I, she already owns a trailer in the  woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. 

The trailer sits on the land that her great great grandparents once tilled when they were slaves.  She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really  hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.  In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a
cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!  Don't worry,
Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.  Someday
I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving son, Jon

PS - Dad, none of the above is true.  I'm over at Tyler's house.  Just
wanted to remind you that  there are worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk (center drawer).  I love you!  Call when it is
safe for me to come home again.

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