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"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

 Female customer: A white one...

 ===============

 Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

 Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

 Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

 Tech support: That doesn't so! sound good; I'll make a note.

 Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still

 on my desk... sorry....

 ===============

 Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the

 screen.

 Customer: Your left or my left?

 ===============

 Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

 Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

 Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

 Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not

 Bill Gates, damn it!

 ===============

 Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every

 time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer

 and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he

 can't find it...

 ===============

 Customer: I have problems printing in red...

 Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

 Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

 ===============

 Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

 Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

 ===============

 Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

 Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

 Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

 Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

 Customer: OK

 Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

 Customer: Yes

 Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there

 another keyboard?

 Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.

 ===============

 Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a

 capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

 Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

 ===============

 Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

 Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

 Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

 Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

 Customer: Five stars.

 ===============

 Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

 Customer: Netscape.

 Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

 Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

 ===============

 Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver

 on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

 ===============

 Tech support: How may I help you?

 Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

 Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

 Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get

 the circle around it?

 ===============

 A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her

 printer.

 Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

 Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.

 The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his

 printer is working fine."

 ===============

 And last but not least:....

 Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the

 same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now

 type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

 Customer: I don't have a P.

 Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

 Customer: What do you mean?

 Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

 Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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