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Men vs. Women

   Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

School    of thought, offered by an English professor from the University of

Phoenix:

   The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a

New form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each student will

Pair off with the person to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight,

one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail

your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.

The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me.

 The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on  back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in  order to keep the story coherent.  There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both  agree a conclusion has been reached."

   The following was actually turned in by Rebecca and Gary, two of his

   English students:

   THE STORY:

   (first paragraph by Rebecca)

   At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.  The

   chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

   reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

   liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him

too much her asthma started acting up again.  So chamomile was out of the

   question.

   (second paragraph by Gary)

   Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

Now  in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than

The neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had

   spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

   "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic

   communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."

    But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of

   nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from

the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

    (Rebecca)

   He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt

One last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had

Ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless

 hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes

Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her

Newspaper  one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed

Unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her

From her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.

"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered

wistfully.

   (Gary )

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. 

Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of  its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed

the  Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left

   Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

   determined to destroy the human race.  Within two hours after the

passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

   enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile

   entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret

mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt

the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

   (Rebecca)

   This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

Writing  partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.

    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic

Whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.  "Oh, shall I

   have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of  F--KING TEA???

Oh    no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

   Danielle Steele novels!"

   (Rebecca)

   Asshole.

   (Gary)

   Bitch

   (Rebecca)

    F***K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

    (TEACHER)

    A+ for both of you; I really liked this one.

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