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"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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>STORIES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

> 

>        Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl

>       whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed

>        in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness,

>         child thought about this for a moment, then said,

>            "So why is the groom wearing black?"

> 

>                 ##############

> 

>         A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was

>        running as fast as she could, trying not to be late

>         for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,

>        please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't

>        let me be late!" While she was running and praying,

>         she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes

>        dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed

>         herself off, and started running again. As she ran

>         she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please

>      don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

>                ###############

> 

>       Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their

>       fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few

>        words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they

>               give him $50."

> 

>        The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles

>       a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they

>                 give him $100."

> 

>       The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles

>      a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and

>         it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

> 

>                 ##############

> 

>        An elderly woman died last month. Having never married,

>        she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten

>        instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They

>       wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them

>              to take me out when I'm dead.

> 

>                  ##############

> 

>        A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would

>        you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said,

>                 "Call for backup."

> 

>                  ##############

> 

>         A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph

>        and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small

>         child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

> 

>                 ##############

> 

>          A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten

>         Commandments with her five and six year olds. After

>         explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and

>         thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that

>        teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

>          Without missing a beat one little boy answered,

>                "Thou shall not kill."

> 

>                  #############

> 

>         At Sunday School they were teaching how God created

>         everything, including human beings. Little Johnny

>         seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve

>       was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week

>       his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,

>        and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny

>       responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to

>                  have a wife."

> 

>                  ###########

> 

>         Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after

>       hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the

>       other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"

>       The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus

>           turned out. It's probably just your Dad.

> 

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