Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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Speak Politically Correct. 

 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a

 "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE  FACILITY."

 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY  CAUCASIAN."

 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He

 "INVESTIGATES  ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE  REGRESSION."

 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers

 "GENERATIONAL  DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes

 "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a

 case of  "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE

 EMPATHY."

 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is

 "RELATIONSHIP  CHALLENGED."

 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his

 pants - It's  "REAR CLEAVAGE."

 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a

 "BREASTED AMERICAN."

 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is

 "VOCALLY  APPRECIATIVE."

 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY  ACCESSIBLE."

 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED

 DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a

 "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED  COMPANION."

 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"- She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets

 "CHEMICALLY  INCONVENIENCED."

 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is

 "MEDICALLY  ENHANCED."

 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY

 REPETITIVE."

 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY

 EXTROVERTED."

 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - she is

 "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST

 PROVIDER."

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