Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

May 9, 2005

Home Archives / Links / Quotes / Book Reviews / Advertise /Contact us / Subscribe / Calendar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[no!  really?]



Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far]!



Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over

[what a guy!]



Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a trial!]




War Dims Hope for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]



If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last A While

[you think?]



Cold Wave Linked to 

Temperatures
[who would have thought!]


Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]


 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

 

Man Struck By Lightning
Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]



New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[weren't they large enough?]

 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]



Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]


And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

 

 

Weather (Louisville) / MapquestWhite Pages / Business Search / CNN / Dictionary / E-card / MSN


Search WWWSearch www.jeffersonreview.com

To forward this article to a friend, go to your toolbar and click "file" > "send".