Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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CUSTOMER SERVICE

>

This is a true story from

>the WordPerfect Help line  which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the

>customer care department.

>

>Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is  currently

>suing the WordPerfect organization for Termination without  Cause.

>

>" This is the actual  dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support

>employee (now I know why they  record these conversations)

>

>"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help  you?"

>

>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

>

>"What  sort of trouble?"

>

>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden  the words went away."

>

>"Went away?"

>

>"They disappeared."

>

>"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

>

>"Nothing."

>

>"Nothing?"

>

>"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I  type."

>

>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

>

>"How  do I tell?"

>

>"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

>

>"What's a  sea-prompt?"

>

>"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

>

>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

>

>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

>

>"What's a monitor?"

>

>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

>Does it  have a little ligh! t that tells you when it's on?"

>

>"I don't know."

>

>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the

>power  cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

>

>"Yes, I think so."

>

>"Great.  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged

>into the wall."

>

>"Yes, it is."

>

>"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice  that there

>were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

>

>"No."

>

>"Well , there are. I need you to look back there again and  find

>the other cable."

>

>"Okay, here it is."

>

>"Follow it for  me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back

>of your computer."

>

>"I can't reach."

>

>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

>

>"No."

>

>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way  over?"

>

>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because  it's dark."

>

>"Dark?"

>

>"Yes, the office light is off, and the only  light I have is coming in

>from the window."

>

>"Well, turn on the  office light then."

>

>"I can't."

>

>"No? Why not?"

>

>"Because  there's a power failure."

>

>"A power....... a power failure?.... Aha,  Okay, we've got it licked

>now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and  packing

>stuff your computer came in?"

>

>"Well, yes, I keep them in the  closet."

>

>"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

>just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

>bought it from."

>

>"Really? Is it that bad?"

>

>"Yes, I'm afraid  it is."

>

>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

>

>"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.

>

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