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TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR
1. WILL THE
REAL
DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying
he lacked intellectual leadership.
He received a $26 million
severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS
Police in Oakland,
California
spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded
himself inside his home.
After firing 10 tear gas canisters,
officers discovered that
the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting
"Please come out and give yourself
up."
3. WHAT WAS
PLAN
B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have
a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to
withdraw money from his own bank
accounts!
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a
Topeka, Kansas
Kwik-Stop, and asked for all
the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small,
so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in
Los
Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a
lineup. When detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat
the words, "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot", the man shouted,
"That's not what I said!"
6.
ARE WE
COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the
phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes
apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her
husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In
Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of
America branch
without a weapon. King used a
thumb and a finger to simulate a
gun, but unfortunately, he failed
to keep his hand in his pocket.
(Hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE (this is
priceless!!)
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella,
located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, Cal. some
folks new to boating were having a
problem.
No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new
22-foot going. It was very sluggish in
almost every maneuver, no matter how
much power was applied. After about an
hour of trying to make it go, they
putted to a nearby marina, thinking
someone there could tell them what was
wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the
outdrive went up and down, the prop was the
correct size and pitch. So, one of the
marina guys jumped in the water to
check underneath, he came up choking on
water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER.
!! THIS IS TRUE ...!!
Under the boat, still strapped
securely in place, was the trailer.
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