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Jokes
1.
Two antennas meet on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't
much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walked into a bar. One said: "I've lost my electron." The
other said: "Are you sure?"
The first replied: "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender said: "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walked into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walked into a bar. The bartender said: Sorry we don't serve food
in here."
6. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
7. A man walked into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and said: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
9. Patient. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green, Grass of Home'"
Doctor. "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
Patient. "Is it common?"
Doctor. "It's Not Unusual."
10. There were two cows standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy said to Dolly: "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," was Dolly's response "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed
Daisy.
11. An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look
at either.
12. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said: "My dog is cross-eyed. Is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at
him." So he picked the dog up and examined his eyes and then checked his teeth.
Finally, the vet said: "I'm going to have to put him down." Owner. "What?
Because he's cross-eyed?" Vet. "No, because he's really heavy."
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.
14. I went to the butcher shop the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said: "No, the steaks are too high."
15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
17. A piece of rope whipped himself into a square knot, frazzled both ends of
himself and walked into the bar. The bartender said: "We don't serve rope here!
You are a piece of rope, aren't you?"
The rope said: No. "I'm a frayed knot!!"
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