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 Disorder in the Courts

  These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are   things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now  published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while  these  exchanges were actually taking place.

    Q: Are you sexually active?

    A: No, I just lie there.

    __________________________________

    Q: What is your date of birth?

    A: July 15th.

    Q: What year?

    A: Every year.

    ______________________________________

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the

  impact?

    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    ______________________________________

    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your  memory at all?

    A: Yes.

    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

    A: I forget.

    Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of

  something that  you've forgotten?

    _____________________________________

    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

    Q: How long has he lived with you?

    A: Forty-five years.

    _____________________________________

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to  you when he woke up

    That morning?

    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

    Q: And why did that upset you?

    A: My name is Susan.

    ______________________________________

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been

  involved in voodoo or the occult?

    A: We both do.

    Q: Voodoo?

    A: We do.

    Q: You do?

    A: Yes, voodoo.

    ______________________________________

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person

  dies in his sleep, he  doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    ___________________________________

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old

  is he?

    _____________________________________

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    ______________________________________

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was  August 8th?

    A: Yes.

    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    ______________________________________

    Q: She had three children, right?

    A: Yes.

    Q: How many were boys?

    A: None.

    Q: Were there any girls?

    ______________________________________

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

    A: By death.

    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    ______________________________________

    Q: Can you describe the individual?

    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    ______________________________________

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant

  to a deposition  notice  which I sent to your attorney?

    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    ______________________________________

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed

  on dead people?

    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    ______________________________________

    Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What

  school did you go to?

    A: Oral.

    ______________________________________

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the

  body?

    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I

  was doing an  autopsy.

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