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CHUCK MUTH'S NEWS & VIEWS
March 18, 2004
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WHAT'S THIS TELL YOU?
"Chuck, A co-worker of mine and his wife have decided to home school their two
children. To do this, his wife is taking a leave of absence from her job. As a
public school teacher. Will wonders never cease?"
- News & Views reader Joe R.
A GRADE-A, FIRST-CLASS, GORE-LEVEL B.S. STORY
Question asked on Humane Society candidate survey: "Do you have any pets that
have made an impact on you personally?
John Kerry's answer: "When I was serving on a swiftboat in Vietnam, my
crewmates and I had a dog we called VC. We all took care of him, and he stayed
with us and loved riding on the swiftboat deck. I think he provided all of us
with a link to home and a few moments of peace and tranquility during a
dangerous time. One day as our swiftboat was heading up a river, a mine exploded
hard under our boat. After picking ourselves up, we discovered VC was MIA.
Several minutes of frantic search followed after which we thought we'd lost him.
We were relieved when another boat called asking if we were missing a dog. It
turns out VC was catapulted from the deck of our boat and landed confused, but
unhurt, on the deck of another boat in our patrol."
SPANISH BUSH-WHACKING
"(L)ike the Democrats, the Spanish hate George Bush more than they hate the
terrorists."
- Columnist Ann Coulter
PERMISSION SLIP DIPLOMACY
"If he is elected president, Sen. John Kerry would return American
decision-making to the dithering and powerless United Nations, which is
precisely what America's enemies would like to see."
- Columnist Cal Thomas
OLD EUROPE'S FAVORITE SON
"According to Kerry, foreign leaders are lining up to tell him, 'You gotta win
this, you gotta beat this guy [President Bush].' And why might this be?
Because, explain these foreign leaders to the Democratic nominee, 'We need a new
policy.' Now wait a minute, did I get that right? That foreign leaders need a
new U.S. policy and that this is a good reason to vote for Kerry? I don't mean
to sound heedless of the opinions of mankind, but I'm honestly not sure many
Americans care whether foreign leaders want 'a new policy' in this country."
- Columnist Adam Wolfson, National Review Online
THE TWO-FACED SENATOR
"I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it."
- John Kerry on his vote on the supplemental request for money to fund pay
raises and body armor for troops in Iraq
"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay
marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
- Late Show host David Letterman
"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see,
that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all
that flip-flopping on issues."
- Tonight Show host Jay Leno
WORSE THAN THE DUKE
"John Kerry is right about one thing: He's no Michael Dukakis. A look at the
record shows that in his bid for the White House in 1988, Massachusetts'
then-governor ran to Mr. Kerry's RIGHT on national defense."
- Wall Street Journal columnist Brendan Miniter
TUBE TIP
C-SPAN, as part of its Road to the White House, is broadcasting Sen. Kerry's
1971 testimony before Sen. Fulbright Committee this Sunday night (6:30 & 9:30).
HOT OFF THE PRESS
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before asking for your first major dollar, the Top Ten questions you better be
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DRUG-INDUCED POLICY DISASTER
"The Bush White House has been accused of lying about all kinds of things, most
of the time without proof. But a flap over its low-balled cost estimates for the
new Medicare prescription drug benefit has even its allies concerned. Anyone
who knew anything about Medicare knew that the official $400 billion price-tag
limit was optimistic at best. But now comes the accusation from Richard Foster,
chief actuary at the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, that he was
ordered to hush up about his own 10-year estimates that exceeded that number by
more than $100 billion.
"...As with the steel tariffs, President Bush is paying a price for wandering
from his principles. The Medicare bill was the first big test of whether
'compassionate conservatism' would actually promote individual freedom and
ownership or simply become the GOP's version of the old command-and-control
welfare state. It ended up being mostly the latter, and it looks increasingly
as if Republicans won't have even a short-term political gain to show for it.
The next time the White House is tempted to threaten legislators in the middle
of the night, we hope it's on something worth the effort and true to its
convictions."
- "Review & Outlook," Wall Street Journal, 3/17/04
SENIORS' GROUP HAS PANTIES IN A TWIST
"That's homonym -- as in words that sound alike but are spelled differently.
Which is just what's got AARP so hot and bothered about a new group calling
itself ARP. AARP, which formerly stood for the American Association of Retired
Persons, is arguably the Beltway's most formidable lobby and a staunch opponent
of plans to privatize Social Security. ARP is the moniker for the newly
announced Alliance for Retirement Prosperity (www.arpnow.org).
. . . So upset is AARP by this new face on the block that it's threatening ARP
with a lawsuit if ARP doesn't change its name."
- "Review & Outlook," Wall Street Journal, 3/17/04
GUNNING FOR CANNON
Project USA announced this week that it has erected five huge billboards in the
heart of Rep. Chris Cannon's (R-Utah) district. The billboards read:
"Congressman Chris Cannon wants amnesty for illegal aliens. Do you?"
AMNESTY SCHEME HAS NO CHANCE
"President Bush tried to jump-start the debate over changing U.S. immigration
policy in January, but his proposal isn't seen as having any chance of success
on Capitol Hill by either Democrats or Republicans. 'It's nonexistent,' said
Carlos Espinosa, spokesman for Rep. Tom Tancredo, Colorado Republican and
chairman of the House Immigration Reform Caucus, who opposes the plan."
- Washington Times, 3/17/04
PROGRESS HAPPENS
"Anything that increases economic efficiency - whether by outsourcing or a
hundred other things - is likely to cost somebody's job. The automobile cost the
jobs of people who took care of horses or made saddles, carriages and
horseshoes. Computers sent typewriter manufacturers into bankruptcy."
- Columnist Thomas Sowell
THE AMERICAN TALIBAN
"At last night's (Rhea County, TN) commission meeting, a motion was passed
unanimously to push legislation allowing Rhea County to charge gays and lesbians
with crimes against nature. Commissioner J.C. Fugate says he made the motion
because of all the recent controversy about gay marriages. . . . Next week, Rhea
County commissioners are scheduled to vote on whether to ban homosexuals from
living there altogether."
- WRBC-TV, Chattanooga
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