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"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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TEACHER:  How old were you on your last birthday?

STUDENT:  Seven.

TEACHER:  How old will you be on your next birthday?

STUDENT:  Nine.

TEACHER:  That's impossible.

STUDENT:  No, it isn't.  I'm eight today.

 TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

 STUDENT:  Here it is!

 TEACHER: Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?

 CLASS:      George!!

 TEACHER:  Are you chewing gum?

 STUDENT:  No, I'm Billy Anderson.

 TEACHER:  Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one

 day?

 STUDENT:  I get up early.

 TEACHER:  Didn't you promise to behave?

 STUDENT:  Yes, Sir.

 TEACHER:  And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?

 STUDENT:  Yes Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.

 TEACHER:  Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

 STUDENT:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

 TEACHER:  In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

 SAMMY:    You can't fool me, teacher....snakes don't have feet!

 HYGIENE TEACHER:  How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

 STUDENT:  Don't bite any.

 TEACHER:  Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

 ELLEN:       I is....

 TEACHER:  No, Ellen, Always say "I am."

 ELLEN:       All right...  "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet".

 TEACHER:  Max, use "defeat", "defence", and "detail" in a sentence.

 MAX:  The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.

 MOTHER:   Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?

 JUNIOR:     You said it was my lunch money.

 TEACHER:  If you had one rand and you asked your father for another, how

 many rands would you have?

 VINCENT:  One rand.

 TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.

 VINCENT:  (sadly) You don't know my father.

  TEACHER:  If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the

 other, what would I have?

  CLASS COMEDIAN:  Big hands!!

  BOY:   Isn't the principal a dummy!

  GIRL:  Say, do you know who I am?

  BOY:   No.

  GIRL:  I'm the principal's daughter.

  BOY:   And do you know who I am?

  GIRL:  No.

  BOY:   Thank Goodness!!

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