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"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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Dear Abby,

 I am a crack dealer in Mt.Washington, Ky who has recently been diagnosed as
a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Morehead, and one of my
sisters, who lives in West Liberty, is married to a transvestite.  My father
and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.
They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes
in Covington.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Eddyville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his
three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Campton, She is still a part time "working girl".         All things
considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to
bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

My concern is, should I tell her about my cousin who is a Kentucky Wildcats fan?

 Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

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