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The secret of reorganizations
On the eve of another government reorg. this just popped out of the
archives, but it seems to catch the spirit----
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively
named "Administratium."
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
111 assistant deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded
by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, administratium's mass
will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is
formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will
know it when you see it.
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