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Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton:
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore."
So, I sat down and reflected on that, and I am sending my "Thank you" for what
you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica
Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey and Juanita Broderick. Did I
leave anyone out?
2. Thank you for teaching my 8 year old about oral sex. I had really planned to
wait until they were older to discuss it with them, but now they know more about
it than I did as a senior in college.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially
the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the
meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not
sex, and one person may have sex while the other one involved does NOT have sex.
4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation
and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie, "Wag the Dog" could be
plausible after all.
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful,
Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look
moral.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th
Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about
Democratic campaign fund raising.
7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the
Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so
far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign
policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully disguised as
necessary trips. It seems you have been campaigning for Secretary General of the
United Nations since your reelection in 1996.
9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars--- I really didn't need it
in the first place, and I can't think of a more well deserving group of
recipients for my hard-earned dollar than jet fuel for all of your
globe-trotting. I understand you, your family and your cronies have logged in
more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration. Good luck on your
continued campaign to be King of the world.
10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of
convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them rejoin
society.
11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware. I'm sure that Laura
Bush didn't like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've
received from your "friends."
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for
vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also appreciate
removing all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, towels, ash trays,
soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1. The
weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel.
Thank you!
13. And, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her
"tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs. Who
says crime doesn't pay?
14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let
Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in
1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo
agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release
so-called "political prisoners." However, the Israelis would not release any
with blood on their hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and
his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be
released. Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying
an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many
of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first
identified. It was censored in the US from all later
reports. Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?
What a guy!!
God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and
frugally.
SINCERELY,
A US Citizen
PS. Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the
Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful factual
e-mail.
AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator,
now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which means
that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional
salary until she dies.
(Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4
years?)
If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already
getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she
also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? WE DO!
It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency they
purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua, New York. Makes
sense. They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes
sense. Here is where it becomes interesting.
Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra
residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.
The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of
that extra residence, which is just about equal to their mortgage payment. This
means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton's salary, mortgage,
transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man
staff-and, this is all perfectly legal!
When she runs for President, will you vote for her?
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