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TERRY’S TIDBITS

By Terry Gray

SUV ROLLOVERS

According to a news report on television, SUV’s are much less likely to roll over if all 4 wheels are kept on the ground.  Unbelievable.

SMOKING

Tom Sobel, owner of Comedy Caravan, recently told me that he volunteered his financial information on the economic impact of prohibiting cigarette smoking to GLI, and they declined the offer.  They had gathered information on the economic impact of other areas and presented that information in the form of a study to the Mayor – 3 days after the Mayor’s office requested it.  Sounds to me like they already had the information on hand that they wanted the Mayor to see.  Why is the Metro Council in need of months to study what GLI could readily produce?  Something doesn’t seem quite right to me.

Mr. Sobel has had a smoke-free night at his business for 5 years.  One would think that his financial records would be pertinent to the climate of Jefferson County.

Mr. Sobel’s stance on the smoking issue:  “It all boils down to freedom and responsibility.”

When I asked about Smoker’s rights versus Non-smoker’s rights he said, “Smokers already have all the freedom guaranteed to them.  As an entrepreneur, I provide smoke-free nights, because I saw it as economically beneficial.  My question is this -- if government makes me become totally smoke-free, can they guarantee that non-smokers will support my business and if so, how can they guarantee it?”

A LITTLE MORE SMOKING

I’m about done with carving up the logic of Peggy Ward, the Anti that no one knows.  Sounds like a title to a mediocre book doesn’t it?  As I was lying in bed last night, Ms. Ward, the marvelous preacher of Socialist Rights once again entered my mind.  Now don’t flatter yourself Ms. Ward, I had just been thinking despair, doom and gut wrenching agony when your name popped into my head.

Peggy Ward is one of the Anti’s that works in a smoking restaurant.  She doesn’t like it.  For reference click here and then scroll down until you find her name.  Peggy says that she can’t afford to change jobs to a place where there is no smoking.  Is it because she wouldn’t make as much money in a non-smoking establishment?  She says the burden of finding another job shouldn’t be on her.  So, because doesn’t want to be responsible for where she works, she wants to change the whole industry.  Don’t you think that is a little selfish?  What about the owners of bars and restaurants that can’t afford to be smoke-free?  They have bills to pay and families to support too.  Wouldn’t it make more sense for Peggy Ward to find a job in one of the over 300 smoke-free restaurants in Jefferson County than for all of the restaurants to change the way they do business to accommodate Peggy Ward?

AWAKENINGS

It was 6 AM when I woke up, rubbed my face, and got ready for my day.  I stepped into the bathroom and noticed my hair was a mess.  It always is in the morning, and something tells me that it would be a mess if I were almost bald.  I’m glad I’m not almost bald, because I want plenty of stuff on my head for the nightly “mess-up demons” to concern themselves with.  This keeps them away from my important stuff.

I washed my face and turned to grab a towel.  In the full length mirror I found less than my perfect self staring back at me.  “ZELNORM” was staring back at me from my tummy in huge letters which I of course saw as “MRONLEZ.”  I almost screamed but recovered.  Then I saw, coming around from my back and ending just below my belly button, “!GNITAOLB”.  I did scream, “!PLEH.”

“I ONLY HAD CHILI - AND NO ONIONS.”

I searched the rest of my abdomen area and found more of the telltale signs of my obvious need for medicine. “!NOITAPITSNOC” and “!AEHRRAID” made their presences known.  “Both,” I screamed?  “I must really be sick.”

I remembered that I had seen the ad on television for Zelnorm and so for the next 2 hours I watched, looking for the ad.  Usually it’s on 45 times a minute, I noted grumpily.  I had to see that ad so when I called my doctor I wouldn’t appear ignorant.

And then, there it was, my friend and nemesis; it had become a love/hate relationship at this point, the commercial.  I gathered all the information that the television told me and called my doctor.

“You’re ignorant,” he informed me.  “Blame socialized education.”

I read some more about Zelnorm and found out that it is for the treatment of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).  I was perplexed, because the only thing that really irritates me is Liberals.  As I read on I found that many people suffering from IBS become fearful of food.  No kidding.  But it wasn’t food that scared me.  I was now afraid to go to sleep. One would be nuts not be fearful of waking up with stuff painted all over him?  Now I have to find something to help me sleep or to keep me awake.  I just hope it doesn’t make me “!LAMRON.”

DENTURES

How far will Ashcroft go?  This bit isn’t really about Ashcroft as I’m sure that my editor wouldn’t print my words describing how I feel about that #$@%^$%.  But it is related to Homeland Security in a loose fashion.

Did you know that in Indiana when you get dentures, state law requires that your name be somehow attached to the denture gum?  Why?  So you can find your dentures?  I don’t know of too many people that lose their teeth and have to try to reconstruct where they’ve been in order to locate them.  I have never seen “Dentures” in a lost and found ad.  How about just under the “Lose Weight Fast” sign on your neighborhood power pole?  “Reward for return of Dentures.”  How about, “Found, one set of upper dentures.  Call and identify?” 

An Indiana burglar was recently caught when police found his dentures at the break-in site and of course they were engraved with his name.  When will they begin to mark everything that we own so they can catch us?  I smell rebellion, folks.

PERSONAL ASSAULTS

My editor and I banter from time to time on some of my writing and my tactics.  She has given me subtle, constructive criticism and sometimes not so subtle, concerning my enthusiastic and robust commentaries about issues.  Her criticisms concern my personal attacks on those that would take my freedom.

When I make a personal attack or remark about a person and his issues, I am motivated to do this on many levels.  What are the reasons that we like or dislike someone?  What attracts us to people or repels us from them?  I think for the most part we all would agree that it is their outlook on things.  We typically do not associate with people that entertain ideologies far removed from our own.

I also use my “attacks” as a heads-up for the person saying things that expose his ideologies that are so far removed from my own.  When this person sees his name in print, he will read what I wrote.  He may hate what I write and may hate me for writing it, but he will read it.  While he is fuming and hating me, there may be one word or statement that I wrote that sticks in his head.  In a few days, weeks, months or years he may come to challenge himself on the way he feels because of what I wrote, or he may just continue to hate me.  But what have I lost?  This person may say, “I hate that guy and I will never agree with anything he says.”  That person probably will never agree with anything that anyone says that is contrary to his beliefs anyway.  But on the other hand, someday I may be thanked for opening up the person to a new perspective.

In this day of political correctness, I find too much caution.  People become fearful of saying what they mean.  Our country fights an open-ended war on terrorism that challenges my freedom.  I will speak out against that, but more important is my stance on the way the war is being fought directly against those that would attack us.  We play by politically correct rules where foreign combatants are concerned while removing our politically correct Constitution from the play book when it comes to our citizens.  Our government can expect to win neither war, because our enemies do not play from the same book, and our citizens will eventually say enough.

Through this entire little tirade my point is this; I do not play by the book.  When you attack my freedom or the underlying principles of my freedoms, don’t expect courtesy.  You may hate me, and that is okay, because, if I have “attacked” you, I obviously don’t like you either!    

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