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Nursing Home Alternative

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when you get old and feeble. I have decided that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.  They have a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc.  Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.  Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast, though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes.  There is the Senior Bus, the Handicap Bus (if you can fake a decent limp), a Church Bus or van, cabs, and even a regular bus.  For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop, they will call an ambulance.  And should you break a hip, the American Way is to Sue.  What more can you ask for?  As a bonus, they all have AARP and other senior discounts.  So: When I reach the golden age, help me keep my grin. 

I say, "Check me right in -  to the nearest Holiday Inn."

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