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Common Sense
-Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in
bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the
early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned, but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition!
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received
better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the
ghost after a woman driver failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap while driving with the full cup
between her legs, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,
Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not
many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you
were privileged to know him, pass this on...
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