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Bob Hope was a great comedian who always had the
ability to laugh at
himself. In his memory, here are some of Bob's classic lines:
ON TURNING 70: "You still chase women, but only downhill."
ON TURNING 80: "That's the time of your life when even your birthday
suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90: "You know you're getting old when the candles cost
more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100: "I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything
until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY BOXING CAREER: "I ruined my hands in the
ring....the referee kept stepping on them."
ON SAILORS: "They spend the first six days of each week sowing their
wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure."
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR: "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's
called at my home, 'Passover.'"
ON GOLF: " Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green
fees."
ON PRESIDENTS: "I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only
six."
ON WHY HE LEFT ENGLAND: "When I found out I couldn't be king, I decided
to try my luck elsewhere."
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER: "When I was born, the doctor said to my
mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham.'"
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL: "I feel very humble, but I think I
have the strength of character to fight it."
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY: "Four of us slept in the one bed. When
it got cold, mother threw on another brother."
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS: "That's how I learned to dance...waiting for the
bathroom."
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES: "I would not have had anything to eat if it
wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."
ON GOING TO HEAVEN: ; "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to
blow the hereafter on a technicality."
Here's to Bob Hope. Thanks for the memories.....
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