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Camel Emissions Testing Program

 By Thomas Crane

The Auto Emissions Testing Program is just another scheme designed by the Have's to pick on the Have Not's.  All that it does is "Plunder the Poor."  Now that the United States has liberated Iraq from the clutches of that tyrannical dictator, Saddam Hussein, I'll bet that the EPA can hardly wait to go over there and subject the poor camel drivers to having their camels tested for excessive flatulence emissions.  It is thought by many that excessive camel flatulence causes hiccups, which can prove deadly for Arabian sword swallowers.  Pity the poor camel for facing the possibility of being placed on a treadmill and forced to run its knobby knees off while having a fan blown in its face.  Worse yet, pity the poor camel flatulence testing personal, otherwise known as F.A.R.T. (Forced Air Research Team) who will have to stand there and assess the quality of air that is blown in their faces.  Of course, the camel drivers can get a one year waiver on their camels providing they force feed the camels a daily diet of Pepto-Bismol while they pursue their routine.  After that, then it’s off to the bone yard for the poor camel.  And so the science of mankind's (and womankind's too) pursuit of clean air without pollutants marches on.  Poor Saheeb; first it was Saddam Hussein and now its the Environmental Protection Agency.

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