Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING "MARVELOUSLY MATURE" WHEN . . .

~ You and your teeth don't sleep together.
~ You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and
   discover you aren't wearing any.
~ At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and
   you're not eating cereal.
~ You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
~ It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
~ When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
~ When happy hour is a nap.
~ When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your
   money does . . .
~ When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of
   your age.
~ Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
~ It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
~ Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
~ The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
~ Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
~ You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on
   your head the whole time.
~ You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
~ You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't
   even remember being on top of it.

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