Jefferson Review

"Your Liberty is Our Interest"

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Truths in life:

1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

2. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
5. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
7. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
11. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

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