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THINGS TO THINK ABOUT ON A SLOW
DAY!!
Did you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a
swimming pool?
OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay
Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans ?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean that one enjoys
it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become
disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called
Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in
. . . what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin
with?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks
so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can
look for them while the deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others
here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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