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CHICKEN
SOUP FOR BEER DRINKERS SOUL
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I
drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver."
--Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her
--W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--HennyYoungman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's
all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not
go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
--unknown
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
--unknown
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group
--unknown
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
-- William Butler Yeats
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
-- Anonymous
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
-- Tee Mans
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the
time and have the time of your life.
-- Michelle Mastrolacasa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a Frontal lobotomy.
-- Tom Waits
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps
if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the
very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken
out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
beer shoot out your nose.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-- Humphrey Bogart
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Wilhelm
You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
-- Anonymous
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin
Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
-- unknown
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