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The Hymns
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, after the
worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than
they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was
annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been
brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know
what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to
think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we
are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected,
and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please
stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
HYMNS FOR ALL THINGS
The Dentist's Hymn:.....................Crown Him with Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn..............There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
The Contractor's Hymn:............... The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn:....................... Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn:...................... There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn:.................. Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn:.............. Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn:................. I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn:.......................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn:..................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn:.................... Sweet By and By
The Realtor's Hymn:.......................I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the
Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn...... He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn:...................... The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:
45mph....................God Will Take Care of You
55mph....................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65mph....................Nearer My God To Thee
75mph....................Nearer Still Nearer
85mph....................This World Is Not My Home
95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100mph...........Precious Memories
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
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