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One Liners

  What's the best form of birth control after 50?

  Nudity.

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  What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

  45 lbs.

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  What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

  45 minutes.

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  How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

  None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

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  What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

  The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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  What do you call a smart blonde?

  A golden retriever.

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  Why does the bride always wear white?

  Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.


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  What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

  A speech impediment.

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  What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?

  A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage,
  along with a recipe.

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  What's the Cuban National Anthem?

  Row row row your boat.

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  What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?


  A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time".;

  A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this".

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