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> >True stories:
> > When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
> > during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
> > did
> > something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and
> > tried
> > the
> > trigger again. This time it worked.
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
> > machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
> > insurance
> > company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
> > have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The
> > chef's claim was approved.
> >
> > **********************
> >
> > A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
> > a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken
> > the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> >
> > ************************
> >
> > After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> > found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from
> > Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the
> > driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free
> > ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the
> > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
> > fantasies.
> > The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
> > Damn I like that one...
> >
> > ************************
> > An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
> > serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
> > he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to
> > see
> > how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > ************************
> >
> > A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
> > examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It
> > only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant."
> > The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her
> > daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by
> > having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched
> > the
> > horizon.
> > The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window!
> > Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying
attention
> > ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in
the
> > East,
> > and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again
> >
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