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Subject: Morons
> MORON #1
>
> A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and
> asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
> gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
> provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
> bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
> $15.
> (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
committed?)
>
> MORON #2
>
> A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying
a
> gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
> MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP! " For a moment, everyone was silent.
> Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over
> laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his
> gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief
> ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later
put
> a plaque on the wall engraved "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a
****-up!"
>
> MORON #3
>
> Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd
> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
> and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
> window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
> head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
> Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on video tape.
>
> MEGA MORON #4
>
> As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
> purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to
> give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police
> apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
> store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for
a
> positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer, that's her. That's the
lady
> I stole the purse from."
>
> MORON #5
>
> The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
> King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The
> clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
> without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,the clerk said they
> weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> MORON #6
>
> Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a
> chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
> pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper
off
> their truck! Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain
> still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the
> chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
They
> were quickly arrested.
>
> #7 and "5 STAR STUPIDITY" AWARD WINNER!!
>
> When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
> the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
> sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal
> gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by
> mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that
it
> was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
>
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