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Subject: Seven Degrees of Blondness
Some of these are old ones but others are new. What would we do with out
blondes?
SEVEN DEGREE OF BLONDNESS:
> >
> > 1st DEGREE: A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two
> > in the
> > morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone,
> > listened a
> > moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and
> > hung up.
> > The husband said, "Who was that?"
> > The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast
> > is
> > clear."
> >
> > 2nd DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a
> > compact on
> > the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
> > mirror,
> > and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
> > The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
> > So the first blonde hands her the compact.
> > The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
> >
> > 3rd DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she
> > goes out
> > and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
> > opens the
> > door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
> > really angry.
> > She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
> > overcome
> > with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
> > The boyfriend Yells, "No, honey, don't do it."
> > The blonde replies, "Shut up you're next."
> >
> > 4th DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
> > capitals. She
> > proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
> > A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
> > The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."
> >
> > 5th DEGREE: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she
> > was
> > pregnant?
> > "Is it mine?"
> >
> > 6th DEGREE: A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
> > Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
> > scratch and
> > was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
> > "My Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion
> > that was
> > stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
> > "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
> > "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
> > surveyed the
> > wrecked car.
> > "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
> > along
> > this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So
> > I
> > swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left
> > and
> > there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another
> > tree! I
> > swerved to the left and there ...."
> > "Uh, ma'am,'the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on
> > this road
> > for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
> >
> > 7th DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
> > house
> > ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
> > reported the
> > crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
> > K9 unit
> > patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K9 officer
> > approached the
> > house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
> > shuddered at the
> > sight of the cop and his dog,and then sat down on the steps. Putting
> > her face in
> > her hands, she moaned,"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I
> > call the
> > police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
> >
> >
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