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Subj: Fwd: :Workplace
Vocabulary
Essential additions to the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed
or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the
kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials were a prime example.
Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic
device to get it to work again.
VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II
computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the
Return Key, and the Power On key. For Windows it's Crl, Alt, Delete
simultaneously.
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere.
Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal..."We each owe $8, but all
anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter
where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks
DOTCOMIC: Someone with a "great business plan" that is guaranteed to make you
laugh.
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