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Here's Hoping Everybody Gets What's Coming To Them This Christmas. by Randy Barker

Wouldn't it be great if people actually got what they deserved this holiday season ? Here are a few folks I think are particularly deserving.

The Families of Military Personnel killed or wounded in Afghanistan deserve to get many times what the families of World Trade Center victims collect from the U.S. Government. Other than police and firefighters, the WTC victims were simply unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when the terrorists attacked. Our soldiers knowingly go into harm's way to protect our way of life. Yet the families of our country's "finest and bravest" could wind up with only the standard $100,000 military insurance policy, while the families of killed and injured civilians get payoffs averaging $1.65 million, with many griping about the amount. Where is the justice in that ? Charitable donations to funds for the victims in New York are fine, but U.S. Government payments to them sets a bad precedent. Where does that stop? Already, blast victims in Oklahoma City are complaining. How much did the families of the victims killed in the WWII London Blitz get ? I suspect nothing.

President George Bush deserves two presents for sure. One is a huge cave named for him in South Dakota, the home state of Tom Daschle, the person he has caved in to the most, especially on tax reductions and real educational reform, the supposed cornerstones of his domestic agenda. On the other hand, Bush should be honored by having a bombed-out cave named for him in the Tora Bora region of Afghanistan, the area in which his resolve and leadership hasn't wavered. He also deserves Person Of The Year, something the liberals at Time magazine will hate to bestow on him two years in a row.

Thomas "Stonewall" Daschle deserves a Senator Jumpin' Jim Jeffords of Vermont hopping mad enough to jump back to the Republican side of the aisle after not getting his promised payoffs. Jeffords' price for the turncoat treachery that put Daschle in power was full funding of his IDEA program and support for a price-fixing cartel for New England dairy farmers .Jeffords received neither, and it would only be fitting if the obstructionist Daschle loses the stature he gains from being Senate Majority Leader. Of course, this could worsen the Napoleon Complex of the diminutive Democrat and make him nastier than ever.

Jihad Johnny Walker-Lindh deserves being tried for treason and/or aiding and abetting terrorism, and being judged by a jury made up of family members of the dead and wounded of the first World Trade Center bombing in New York, the American Embassy bombings in Africa, and the terrorist attack on the U.S.S. Cole-all of which happened before Walker received training by the Al Qaeda, who perpetrated those crimes, and before Walker joined the forces fighting against the Northern Alliance and U.S. Special Forces. He was culpable long before what happened September 11th.When convicted, Walker should be imprisoned for life in a hell-hole prison in some miserable Mid-East country with no hope of ever being mercifully executed.

Jihad Johnny Walker-Lindh's Permissive Parents should be found guilty of Affluent Airhead LeftCoast Liberal Lunacy, and "thrown the book at". This book should be the Koran, which would undoubtedly prescribe stiff punishment for parents who would lead their children into adopting a faith other than their own. While I don't exactly know what that would be, I suspect it's beheading.

Slick Willy Clinton deserves a less compassionate George Bush, one political enough to reverse his decision to deny the House Government Reform Committee access to documents it wants to use in its investigation of Clinton Campaign finance violations. Nice guy Bush's patience may be tested though as Clinton and his former consigliere, Bruce Lindsey, have launched a campaign to rehabilitate Bill's tattered image using former Clinton War Room members, like Bill Richardson and Paul Begala, to re-spin the sorry tale. Clinton will also be assisted by Maggie Smith, Hillary's former chief of staff, who fled to France after escaping indictment for destroying evidence after the death of Vince Foster.

Usama bin Laden deserves, well, we all know what he deserves: A special place in Hell. Or perhaps Hillary Clinton as a 5th wife.

You And Yours deserve all the best, which is what I'm wishing for you all this Christmas and the coming New Year.

Excerpt from NotSo SERIOUS MONEY a weekly online financial newsletter written by Randybarker@aol.com

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