|
ANCIENT CHINESE WISDOM
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run
for money.
War does not determine who is right,
war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon
find him in cat house.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get
there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on
pot.
Man who live in glass house should
change clothes in basement.
Crowded elevator smell different to
midget.
ADVICE FOR THE UNMARRIED
When I was younger I hated going to
weddings. It seemed that all
of the aunts and the grandmotherly types would come up to me, poke me in
the ribs, and tell me, “You’re next.”
They stopped that after I started
doing the same thing to them at funerals.
(Q) What’s the difference between a
girlfriend and a wife?
(A) 45 pounds
(Q) What’s the difference between a
boyfriend and a husband?
(A) 45 minutes
(Q) How many women does it take to
change a light bulb?
(A) None, they just sit there in the
dark and complain.
(Q) Why are men and parking spaces
alike?
(A) Because all the good ones are
taken and the only ones left are disabled.
(Q) What makes men chase women they
have no intention of marrying?
(A) The same urge that makes dogs
chase cars they have no intention of driving.
(Q) What do you call a smart, blonde
male?
(A) A golden retriever.
(Q) What’s the difference between
Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
(A) Beer Nuts are $1.00, Deer Nuts are
always under a buck.
(Q) What’s the Cuban National
Anthem?
(A) Row, row, row your boat.
(Q) What’s the difference between a
Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
(A)
A Northern fairy tale begins “Once upon a time.”
A Southern fairy tale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe
this”.
|
