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Peeling the Onion (The Art of Persuasion)

by Gordon Francis Corbett

When I entered college almost forty years ago, and began discussing political issues, I was terrible.  Compared to me, the Chicago Cubs were world champions.  I hardly ever won an argument.  Nevertheless, as I learned more about facts, philosophy, and debate, my percentage improved.

Something bothered me.  Whenever I did win, I expected my opponent's opinion to change, but that hardly ever happened.

About twenty years later, an auto-salesman friend unwittingly gave me a clue.  "When we get back from the test drive, I let my customer ask questions.  Most are objections to buying.  Each objection conceals another that lies beneath;  and, when I have answered all of his questions, he is usually ready to buy.  It is really like peeling an onion."

In importance, one's political philosophy far surpasses a new automobile.  So, when a friend and I discuss some controversial idea, I pay attention to his words;  but I also listen for undertones that might indicate why he disagrees.  Then, I ask him a question.

What he says, and how he says it, will tell me a lot.  Some people know a great deal and like to use it.  Others may know little, but like discussing current events anyway.  Still more back a political party willy-nilly, and do not care to debate its positions.  A few, possibly fearing economic consequences, prefer not to comment.

 If my friend wants to talk, I let him ask me questions.  Mindful of what my salesman friend told me, I answer them;  but if his opinion does not change, I do not despair.  People do not change their minds overnight.  Effective persuasion requires gentleness, courtesy, and above all, patience.

So, the next time you and a friend are talking, and you want to change his mind, remember the onion.

Please, peel it gently.