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With civilization declining before us, we are lucky to live in a community that has an ever-alert Board of Aldermen.  Just when I thought society was in a period of moral decay, our Aldermen stepped up and passed an ordinance that requires nude dancers to stay three feet away from their customers.  Knowing the law is on the books will make me sleep better.  However, I wonder what it cost the taxpayers to have this ordinance debated drafted, and passed and I wonder how much it will cost to have this law enforced.

In other news, I have entered the nine Aldermen who voted to pass this ordinance in the “Dumbest Citizens in America” competition, which will be held in Salem, Massachusetts in the same Courtroom that hosted the witch trials.

Very truly yours,

Donald M. Heavrin