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Before It Starts
A man comes home from an exhausting day at
work, plops down on the couch in front
of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it
starts."
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get
me another beer before it starts." She looks
cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes
that beer and a few minutes later says,
"Quick, get me another beer, it's going
to start any minute."
The wife is furious. She yells at him
"Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV?
You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat
slob, and furthermore..."
The man sighs and says, "It's
started..."
Hoya
It was election time and a politician
decided to go out to the local reservation
and try to get the Native American vote. They
were all assembled in the Council
Hall to hear the speech. The politician had
worked up to his finale, and the crowd
was getting more and more excited. "I
promise better education opportunities for
Native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya!
Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled by
the native word, but was encouraged by their
enthusiasm. "I promise gambling reforms
to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd,
stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job
opportunities for Native Americans!"
The crowd
reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the Politician was
touring the Reservation, and saw a
tremendous
herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a
ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he
asked the Chief if he could get closer
to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but
be careful not to step in the hoya."
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