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Several new viruses have been discovered
and are wreaking havoc throughout the
Internet.
Beware of...
THE ALGORE Virus....
(Causes your computer to just keep counting
and counting)
THE CLINTON Virus....
(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO
memory)
THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus...
(Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy)
THE LEWINSKY virus...
(Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then Emails everyone about what it did)
THE RONALD REAGAN virus....
(Saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored)
THE MIKE TYSON virus....
(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus....
(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb,
then slowly expands to re-stabilize
around 200mb)
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus...
(Deletes all old files)
THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus...
(Disks can no longer be inserted)
THE PROZAC virus...
(Totally screws up your RAM, but your
processor doesn't care)
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus...
(Only attacks minor files)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus...
(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be
back)
. ..and my personal favorite...
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus...
(Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through
Windows)
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