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Subject: POLITICAL PHILOSOPHIES EXPLAINED IN "TWO COW" TERMS

Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and
provides you with milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you
the milk.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both,
shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down
the drain.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point
that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country
who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.