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What to Do For A Cough


John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.  Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
 
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup.  Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup.  Remembering Bob's warning, he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.  The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
 
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup.  I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.
 
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost.

"Look at him.  He's afraid to cough."



A Dying Wish

There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed.

He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking.  He wanted one last cookie before he died.  He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily
baking cookies.

With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the
cookie sheet.  As he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his
hand with a spatula.

Gasping for breath, he asked her, "Why did you do that?"

"Those are for the funeral."