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We Could Find This Takeover
Particularly Gauling.
By
Randy Barker
Just when you thought the future of American public education couldn't get
any worse, there's more to worry about. Last week, I was bemoaning the
fact that America's youth is
not being taught the American history they should be by
their ultra-liberal NEA unionist teachers. Now I'm worried that any history
they might be exposed to is going to be rewritten by socialist Europeans.
That's because French conglomerate Vivendi Universal (V-$63.75) is buying
U.S. textbook publisher Houghton Mifflin (HTN-$59.55) in a move that will
make Vivendi the world's # 2 educational publisher, very close to the size
of Britain's Pearson PLC, the world's # 1 educational publisher. And it
gets worse. Anglo-Dutch publisher Reed Elsevier is trying to buy U.S.
textbook publisher Harcourt General (H-$57.86), one of the world's
largest. This would leave the content of America's textbooks almost
completely in foreign hands, with only McGraw-Hill (MHP-$65.66) as a major
player in the school yard.
Smaller American book companies Scholastic (SCHL-$40.15) and John Wiley (JW.A-$20.12)
don't do a big textbook business, but will probably be European takeover
targets, anyway.
What's the big problem, you ask ? Well, I have to admit that the British
and Dutch textbook writers don't worry me much. How much worse could
they be than the American writers of "Heather Has Two
Mommies." No, it's the French that scare me. They're all big-time
anal orifices, and raging socialist ones at that. Plus, Vivendi is run by
the flamboyant Jean-Marie Messier. With him at the helm there's no telling
what could happen to American history when the French get through.
The Marquis de Lafayette, who was 20 years old when the American
Revolution began, could become the father of our country. The French and
Indian War could suddenly be a war between the French and The Indians. The
Louisiana Purchase could be described as the Louisiana DownPayment with
$15 million up front and foreign aid forever. Josephine Baker might start
the Underground Railroad and ride it to fame as a nude dancer in a Paris
dive called the Red Windmill (Moulin Rouge). The Lafayette Escadrille
could become a flying circus to entertain the crack French troops in WWI.
Charles de Gaulle will no doubt single-handedly win World War II. Vichy
will just be where cold potato soup comes from, not the seat of Marshal
Petain's fascist France. It will become America's fault Dien Bien Phu fell
and French Indo-China was lost. And
Muammar Qadhafi and Saddam Hussein will become nice guys, ones never to be
embargoed, and certainly never bombed, especially when Reagan wanted to
fly over France to do it.
With things like this being taught to them, our children could grow up to
think and act like the French. They could become insufferable jerks who do
not bathe, supercilious wine and cheese snobs, chauvinists that would put
Napoleonic soldier Chauvin to shame, pantywaists unable to defend their
own country, welfare statists who demand 16 weeks vacation each year or
they become saboteurs (a French word for people who kick machinery), and
worse of all, people who think Jerry Lewis is a comic genius.
It could happen. The French have a lot of gall.
Hey, Golf Is All About Affirmative Action Anyway !
As a non-golfer, I just don't understand what the big deal is about a
handicapped pro golfer using a golf cart. Well, actually that's not true.
I do understand what's going on. It's an attempt by golfers to delude
themselves that what they are playing is a "sport". It's not a sport. It is an "activity" like croquet
or billiards that requires a bit of skill to do. But it's not a sport when
fat old men can do it, and a professional player can be handicapped and
still do it. Imagine a handicapped pro football or basketball player. The
mere act of walking around, or even the flamboyant, ridiculously macho
golfer word "charging" a manicured golf course does not elevate
golf to a sport.
Golf is a truly socialist pastime. It's all about affirmative action, and
an attempt to find a way for people who have varying degrees of skill to
play together. To bend the rules to give unqualified people a chance to
win. I believe golfers call that a "handicap". And I think this
laughable brouhaha about Casey Martin has more than a bit of irony to it.
Excerpts from NotSo SERIOUS MONEY,
a weekly online financial newsletter written by
RandyBarker@aol.com
Have A Profitable Week !
randybarker@aol.com
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