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THOUGHTS ON EXERCISING

1. It is well documented that for every mile you jog, you add 1 minute to your life. This enables you at 95 years old...to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

2. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where she is.

3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy
breathing again.

4. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Have NOT lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

10. If you are going to try cross-county skiing, start with a small country.

11. And, last but not least- I don't jog, it makes the ice jump right out of my glass