The Greatheart Solution

by George Baumler

Years ago, in an elementary school I attended, there were two individuals who were always fighting one another.  Every day, it seemed one would black the other’s eye, bloody a nose or inflict some kind of insult or injury.  Truthfully, they didn’t fight every day, but it was a fact that there was no love lost between them.  Either of them alone was pleasant enough company and may have engendered many lasting friendships were it not for the trouble between the two.  If a person became too friendly with one or other of the combatants, one would assume that he was taking sides and would put the other’s new found pal on the punching-bag list; as a result of the perceived system, neither had many real friends.

 This problem was not unobserved by our teacher, who was possessed of the notion that all things could be made right.  Ms. Greatheart (An alias.) came up with a solution she was sure would end the conflict.  What she decided needed be done had less to do with the pugnacious pair, than it did with the rest of the class.  She decided that the hostile parties should be rewarded for refraining from their usual fisticuffs.  Every day she took up a collection of money from the rest of the class.  Those who refused to donate had demerits added to their name and could eventually receive punishments or have points taken off of their grades for not cooperating.  The collected booty was divided between the ruffians, who for a while ceased their activities. 

It was like an explosion in the minds of the two when they realized the action-reward connection.  Perhaps their original conflict could have been resolved eventually, with one or the other finally maturing, but the reward for maintaining just enough hostility was just too great.  With no effort on their part, they received a stipend extracted from their classmates for the laudable cause of maintaining a semblance of peace between them.  This continued throughout the rest of the school year.  Ms. Greatheart was proud of her peacemaking abilities, and the rest of the class had 47% fewer cavities due to having less money to spend on sweets and such.

Ms. Greatheart, I’ve been told, went on to land a job in government, something to do with foreign policy or an agency working very nearly along that line.  My pugilistic classmates eventually went on to bigger and better schemes, though not together.  For her selfless efforts and ideas for solving conflicts, Ms. Greatheart should get the Nobel Peace Prize, don’t you think?