Liberal or conservative?
A young woman was about to finish her first
year of college. Like so many others her
age, she considered herself to be very
liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was
very much in favor of higher taxes to
support more government programs, in other
words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a
rather staunch conservative, a feeling she
openly expressed. Based on the lectures
that she had participated in, and the
occasional chat with a professor, she felt
that her father had for years harbored an
evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought
should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on
his opposition to higher taxes on the rich
and the need for more government programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by
her professors had to be the truth and she
indicated so to her father. He responded by
asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily
that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know
that it was tough to maintain, insisting
that she was taking a very difficult course
load and was constantly studying, which left
her no time to go out and party like other
people she knew. She didn’t even have time
for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many
college friends because she spent all her
time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is
your friend Audrey doing?”
She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by.
All she takes are easy classes, she never
studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She
is so popular on campus; college for her is
blast. She’s always invited to all the
parties and lots of times she doesn’t even
show up for classes because she’s too hung
over.”
Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why
don’t you go to the Dean’s office and ask
him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it
to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way
you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly
that would be a fair and equal distribution
of GPA.”
The daughter, visibly shocked by her
father’s suggestion, angrily fired back,
“That’s a crazy idea, how would that be
fair! I’ve worked really hard for my
grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a
lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to
nothing toward her degree. She played while
I worked my tail off!”
The father slowly smiled, winked and said
gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of
the fence.”
If you ever wondered what side of the fence
you sit on, this is a great test!
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he
doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all
guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he
doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all
meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks
about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care
of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show
host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like
be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he
doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of
God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a
foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health
care, he goes about shopping for it, or may
choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay
for his.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward
it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s
“offended.”
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