THREE PRESIDENTIAL DAILY BRIEFINGS
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA WALKED INTO HIS EARLY MORNING PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFING AND SAT AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE. ALL AROUND HIM SAT CABINET HEADS AND OFFICIALS, ALL IN A STATE OF CONCERN. “WHAT’S THE MATTER ?” THE PRESIDENT ASKED. THE OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL BRIEFER BEGAN. “WE RECEIVED AN EMAIL THIS MORNING, SIR, AND WE CANNOT TRACE IT.”
“WELL”, SAID THE PRESIDENT, “WHAT DID IT SAY?”
“IT SAID, SIR, THAT ‘ IT IS SUBSTANTIALLY TRUE THAT VIRTUE OR MORALITY IS A NECESSARY SPRING OF POPULAR GOVERNMENT’.”
“UH….THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OLD AND OUT-DATED ?” SAID THE PRESIDENT. ” ANY IDEA WHO SENT IT ?”
“IT WAS SIGNED, ‘GEORGE WASHINGTON’, SIR.”
“WHY, THAT CAN’T BE!” EXCLAIMED THE PRESIDENT. “GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JUST AN OLD DEAD WHITE GUY! IT MUST BE A HACKER OF SOME SORT. INFORM MY CZAR OF HACKERS TO HAVE THIS TERRORIST UNDER ARREST BY LUNCHTIME.”
THE NEXT MORNING THE CZAR OF HACKERS WAS IN THE ROOM WHEN THE PRESIDENT CAME IN. “WELL, DID WE GET THIS GUY ?” BEGAN THE PRESIDENT.
“NO, SIR,” APOLOGIZED THE CZAR OF HACKERS. “THAT EMAIL SEEMS TO HAVE JUST APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE.” THE PRESIDENT SHOOK HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF. “FURTHERMORE,” CONTINUED THE CZAR OF HACKERS, ” WE RECEIVED ANOTHER EMAIL THIS MORNING. IT WAS ALSO UNTRACEABLE, AND IT SAID, ‘PROPERTY IS THE FRUIT OF LABOR. PROPERTY IS DESIRABLE, IS A POSITIVE GOOD IN THE WORLD. THAT SOME SHOULD BE RICH SHOWS THAT OTHERS MAY BECOME RICH AND HENCE IS JUST ENCOURAGEMENT TO INDUSTRY AND ENTERPRISE.’ ”
“THAT SOUNDS JUST AS OLD AND OUT-DATED AS THE ONE YESTERDAY ! WHO IS THIS GUY ?” DEMANDED THE PRESIDENT, POUNDING THE TABLE WITH HIS FIST.
“SIR,” CONTINUED THE CZAR OF HACKERS, “THIS EMAIL WAS SIGNED ‘ABRAHAM LINCOLN’ ”
“NAH, NAH , THAT CAN’T BE. THAT’S JUST ANOTHER OLD, DEAD WHITE GUY. THIS IS THE SAME HACKER AND I WANT HIM FOUND IMMEDIATELY !” THE PRESIDENT ROSE AND STORMED OUT OF THE ROOM.
ON THE THIRD MORNING, WHEN THE PRESIDENT WALKED INTO THE ROOM, THERE WAS TOTAL SILENCE AND ASHEN FACES ALL AROUND THE TABLE. “WHAT NOW ? DID YOU FIND THIS GUY ?” HE ASKED.
“NO, SIR, BUT WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE. TODAY’S EMAIL SAID, “THIS IS GOD, AND I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I SHALL BRING UPON IT MY WRATH, ALL MANNER OF MISERY, TUMULT, AND CONFUSION. I SHALL SET YOUNG AGAINST OLD, RACE AGAINST RACE, POOR AGAINST RICH, SLOTH AGAINST INDUSTRIOUSNESS, AND FOOLISHNESS AGAINST COMMON SENSE, UNTIL ALL ARE BROKEN IN FACT AND SPIRIT.”
THE PRESIDENT WAS SILENT FOR A LONG WHILE BEFORE HE ASKED, “DO WE THINK IT’S THE SAME GUY ?”
“NO, SIR, MR. PRESIDENT,” CAME THE REPLY. “THIS WAS TRACED BACK TO THE OVAL OFFICE.”
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