Author unknown
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment
during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back
all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is
great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in tarnation are you supposed to
fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a
lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t
remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad
decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but
there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do
anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree
to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my
collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of
Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper
that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or
tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.
15. I hate when I just
miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately
call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I
didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house
confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire
day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone
just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer
deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet
on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than
Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Bad part of town” routing
option.
21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I
first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in
each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. Even under
ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket,
finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my
behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about
1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. It gets harder and
harder to decipher the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How
many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile
because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love
the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent that one
car from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27.
One of the worse feelings is in that millisecond you’re sure you are going to
die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
28. Is it just me or
do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
”Life’s
tough……it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”
– John
Wayne*
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
