A Nation of Brokenness

Cultural Challenge of the Week: A Nation of Brokenness

By Rebecca Hagelin

This past Saturday, I met an amazing, loving and spunky group of women who uplifted my spirit just by being in their presence!

I had the great privilege to speak at the “Choices Atlanta” conference where I met successful, joyful and peace-filled women. Before I arrived, I was a complete stranger. But, by the time I left, I felt as if I had known them all my life. Why? Because these remarkable women understand that the real value and fulfillment in life comes from serving others, starting with our own family members.

Founded fewer than five years ago by a beautiful lady named Brenda Tollett, Choices Atlanta encourages women to put our families first and to be reflective and thoughtful about the decisions we make in our lives. The organization also seeks to encourage mothers in the noble role of “mothering,” and to mentor the next generation of mothers. I just love what they are doing in the Atlanta area — they so echo the cry of my heart! I’m pleased to say that Brenda and her core group have recently filed the papers to take the organization national. If you are interested in learning more about “Choices America” and how you might start a chapter in your area, please visit their Web site at www.choicesatlanta.com.

My new friends in Atlanta so inspired me with their vision to honor mothering and families, that I knew my topic for the Culture Challenge of the Week needed to focus on the institution of the “family.” And, given the recent news stories about the so-called “Women’s Nation” in which we are now living, it became obvious that I needed to be bold in clearly stating what a central cause of many of our cultural ills. So, here you go:

Culture Challenge of the Week: A Nation of Brokenness

A recent report by Maria Shriver on the status of women in America calls on the government to provide more day care, require more flex time, and grow programs across the board to accommodate the needs of what she calls, “A Woman’s Nation.” The report celebrates the economic success and power of women over the last few decades, yet totally fails to acknowledge that the family unit has disintegrated during those exact same years. Shriver misses what should be the central question of any effort to help women and families: How can we as a society restore our belief in, and national commitment to, marriage?

Look at just how far the American family has disintegrated: In 1950, for every 100 babies that were born, 12 were born to a broken family. That is, they were either born out of wedlock, or to a family that would soon suffer divorce. Fast forward to the 21st century and we find a gross tragedy: For every 100 babies that are born in America, 60 are born to a broken family. Divorce and out-of-wedlock births are wreaking havoc on both individuals and our nation. Single motherhood is the greatest source of poverty in the nation, driving moms away from the growing children who need them and into jobs. Divorce causes our sons and daughters to be raised by someone else while divorced moms and dads work more hours to maintain two separate households.

As adults have focused on our selfish desires to be independent of an enduring commitment to a spouse, we have created an entire generation of children who are suffering from brokenness. Yet, you read very little about the tragic outcomes.

Noted family researcher Dr. Pat Fagan, a senior fellow with the Family Research Council, has reported: “The children of parents who reject each other suffer: in deep emotional pain, ill health, depression, anxiety, even shortened lifespan; more drop out of school, fewer go to college, they earn less income, they develop more addiction to drugs and alcohol, and they engage in increased violence or suffer it within their own homes.”

How to Save Your Family and the Nation

Unless we restore marriage as our national foundation, we will not save this country. Being part of an intact family unit with a mother and father who are fully committed to each other is the single greatest indicator of success in every area of life. The social science data is clear: Women, men and children are all better off emotionally, psychologically, and physically in an intact family unit.

A growing economy will not save us. Women’s advancement in the workplace and in education will not save us. Greater flex hours will not save us. All of those things are wonderful and contribute to a better society. But, if we continue to destroy and “reinvent” the basic building block of every single civil society since the beginning of time–the family unit–we will fail as a nation.

John Podesta said in his preface to the Shriver report, “Our policy landscape remains stuck in an idealized past, where the typical family was composed of a married-for-life couple.”

The reason that a family composed of a “married-for-life” couple is idealized is because it is the ideal basis for a family! So, why aren’t we doing everything possible to promote the ideal, rather than spending so much time, effort and money treating the natural consequences of failed families?

While we bind up the wounds of children and broken families, we must be working on the cure. Start by focusing on your own marriage, and then help others understand the beautiful treasure that is “marriage.” You can learn more about how to do both at www.FamilyLife.com.

I’m so excited to report that this coming week, on November 17 and 18th, my two-part interview with Dr. James Dobson will air on the Focus on the Family broadcast around the world. I hope you will take the time to tune in as I discuss my book 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save your Family. You can find a list of stations at www.fotf.org. By the way, if you would like to order a copy, please visit my Web site and I’ll be happy to autograph one for you www.HowToSaveYourFamily.com.

And one last note: Please share this e-newsletter with others by 1) forwarding it to a friend, and, 2) letting them know that they can also receive it for free each week right in their own inbox. All they have to do is take three minutes to go to www.HowToSaveYourFamily.com and sign-up to receive it!

My heart in writing it is to help parents grow closer to their children, grow their faith in God, and equip them to tower above the pop culture. I hope you find it useful and encouraging enough each week to encourage others to read it, too.

Have a blessed week. May the Lord grant you peace and strength as you serve him and others – starting with your own family!